We sing its praises as “the most wonderful time of the year” but the December holiday season can also be one of our most stressful times.  If you find this time of the year overwhelming, here are three questions to ask yourself to help better manage stresses during and after the holiday season.

Do I have to do it?  want to do it?

You have choices.  Ask yourself this question and see what you answer.  You may find that you can say no.  If you say yes, recognize that you’ve made the choice to do it – it may help you have a more positive outlook.

Can I keep it simple? do it differently?

If you choose to do something, can you do it in a way that simplifies and reduces your stress?  Just because you’ve always done it one way doesn’t mean that you can’t change it.

Can I plan ahead for next year?

If you can’t do anything about this holiday season, start thinking about and planning for next year.  It may be too late for this year, but next year starts on January 1^st!

Here are some answers to these questions with holiday stressors such as shopping, events/obligations and family:

Shopping 

Deciding who to get gifts for, what to get, going out to shop and over spending are major shopping stressors.

Do I have to/want to do it?

·         Do you need or want to continue your gift giving practices?  Are there people you can stop exchanging gifts with?  Do you start giving to a charity, adopting a child instead?

Can you keep it simple?  Do it differently?

·         Gifts for the kids only.

·         Draw names.

·         Set a price limit and stick to it.

·         Ask for a gift list.

·         Make a list of the people you need to buy for, what you want to get them and where you’re going to purchase it.  Plan your route –shop during off hours to avoid the crowds.  

• Shop online or over the phone.
• Purchase a gift card and let them decide.
• Use gift bags/boxes to cut down on wrapping and feel good about recycling.
• Have extra gifts (chocolate, coffee, soap, etc) on hand for unexpected or last minute gifts.

Can you plan ahead?

• If you’re brave and have energy and money left, you can start your holiday prep for next year at the Boxing Day/Week sales.  Cards, wrapping paper, etc can be purchased and stored (somewhere you can find it!) for next year.
• Create your card list, preferably on the computer, so you‘re ready to go next year.
• Create your holiday budget and start to save a set amount weekly or monthly.
• Purchase potential gifts when you see them throughout the year.

Events and Obligations 

Holiday events, work parties, open houses and the holiday meals are just some of the events and obligations of the holidays.

Do I have to/want to do it?

·         You don’t have to accept every invitation you receive or meet every holiday obligation.  Review and decide which events/obligations are the ones you want and/or need to go to and gratefully decline the rest. 

Can you do it differently? 

·         Drop in for a short time, not a long time.

·         Decline but make plans to get together in the New Year.

·         Make sure that you keep time for yourself and your self care (exercise, sleep, etc) in your schedule.

·         Don’t overdo it with food or alcohol – enjoy, but remember moderation.

·         Rather than try to include every family tradition or favorite meal item, have a family meeting and let everyone pick one favorite thing to include and let the others go.

·         Farm out parts of the meal – let others bring potatoes, veggies, etc.

Can you plan ahead?

• Purchase party and meal supplies ahead of time.
• Prepare and freeze as much of meals or party items that you can.

Family

The holidays focus on happy times with family.  If your family is challenging, expectations of harmony and obligations to be together can be stressful.

Do I have to/want to do it?

·         If the family gathering isn’t a happy place for you, can you choose not to go?

Can youeep it simple?  Do it differently?

·         Go for part of the day vs the whole day.

·         If you and certain family members bicker all year long, don’t expect miracles.  Try to avoid known triggers.  For example, if politics is a touchy subject in your family, don’t talk about it.  If someone brings up the topic, use distraction and quickly move onto something else to talk about.

·         Split up time with the family over the holiday season.  If you’re traveling to be with family, build in breaks by planning time to visit friends, workout, go see a movie/area attraction, etc.

·         Use relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing, to cope with anxiety or tension.

·         Take a break from the family gathering by going out for a walk.

·         Plan an activity such as skating, tobogganing, game or movie – an activity can reduce the likelihood of arguing.

·         Avoid getting drunk, using drugs.

Can you plan ahead?

• Start thinking about how you could do the family holidays differently next year.  Are there changes that could make the holidays more enjoyable?

Ask yourself these questions and see what you come up with.  Who knows, if the holidays are less stressful, maybe there’ll be time and energy to have some fun!!  What a concept!

Happy Holidays.